Public Displays of Affection in Class: Knock it Off

Okay so today we're going to have a lesson on PDA in class, so listen up...especially if you're one of those couples.

Let me just make this clear. I'm not bitter, I'm not jealous. I have 0 desire to be you. I AM however, annoyed AF and would like you to break up so I won't have to deal with your PDA and/or RIDICULOUS FB STATUSES.

Let me start off with PDA in class.

"C'mon, Alex. No couple is fucking stupid enough to inappropriately suck face in a lecture of 300+ people!! I mean that's just like common sense!"

Oh, but they exist....A lot of them exist. This my dear friends is very unfortunate and if you are one of them...KNOCK IT OFF. Seriously, it's not cool bro.

Dude, I get it. Lecture is boring. No one wants to be there, but how about you take some goddamn notes, stalk your professor on facebook, take a nap, doodle some ligers...IDGAF. Just try to do anything instead of screwing your girlfriend literally right in front of me.

Do you know how distracting it is trying to learn about velociraptors while your whore of a girlfriend is climaxing?

Yeah, didn't think so.

I really don't know how I end up behind all of these couples. Do I have some sort of huge sign above my head directing these horny couples to come sit directly in front of me?

If it's impossible for you to keep your tongue out of your significant other's throat for approx. 50-75 min, then you need help. Seek it.

Otherwise, just save everyone from getting entirely grossed out.

Our reward for actually showing up to class shouldn't be soft core porn.