Retarded Majors

Here are some of the retarded majors offered at UCSB, in which all of the people who are majoring in these will manage a Starbucks or a Blockbuster. Perhaps I'm giving them too much credit...they'll be selling oranges on the sides of freeway exits...or waving those annoying signs in 100 degree weather.

Art History--Sorry, you aren't the next Picasso.

Anything with a Greek or Roman emphasis--there seriously is no need for this.

DANCE--how is this an accredited UC major?

Film and Media Studies--No, you will not be a director.

French...seriously? GTFO.

Iberian Studies--Where the fuck is Iberia?

Medieval Studies--Seriously, can you be a bigger hipster?

Renaissance Studies--Oh, I guess you can.

Come on ladies and gentlemen, don't be idiots. The job market sucks dick anyways. What are you doing majoring in Art History? Use your goddamn brain that got you into this school.