True Blood: A Glorious Shitshow

I've been a loyal 'Trubie' (ew, that term is so gay) since season one, however the True Blood finale, okay maybe this entire season, really proved how ridiculous the show is. I love me some sexy vamps, but when a gaptoothed fairy is getting more action than you...you know this plot has to be far from realistic. Also, when the most normal character on the show is Sam, a guy who morphs into a dog and killed his own brother, you know this shit is crazy.

1. Let me get this straight: It's a show about Vampires. Oh, and werewolves. And fairies. And shape shifters. And panthers? And NOW after this season...the magical plot also includes witches.
      Who comes up with this shit? Seriously though, where did the panthers who rape people come from? That was just unnecessary. And if wickens weren't frowned upon enough already, this season basically diminished any of their chances of being accepted into society because a) this crazy witch bitch almost murdered the beautiful Alexander Skarsgard and b) none of the witches were hot or took their shirts off.

2. There is no way in hell that Sookie is hawt enough to win the hearts of two sexy vamps and a sexy werewolf. 
        Sookie Stackhouse is pretty hot, but I'm POSITIVE her fairy vagina isn't magical enough to pull Eric, Bill, AND Alcide. I mean if the vamps, fairies, panthers, and shapeshifters didn't throw you off...the fact that all of these hot guys want her pixie dust pussy definitely makes this show unrealistic. I think Pam said it best last night, "I'm so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her incredibly stupid name. Fuck Sookie."

3. Live in Bon Temp and suddenly everything is sexy.
     Your name is Sam and you own a bar? Sexy. You just got unwillingly bit in the neck by a shirtless ripped vampire? Sexy. You're neighbor is a sexy, buff werewolf with a druggie gf hooked on V? SEXY. I can just imagine a ton of middle aged divorcees moving to poor old Bon Temps in hopes of getting fang banged by a scrumptious vampire. On the flip side, I can imagine a ton of creepy rapists wearing plastic fangs claiming to be real vampires in hopes of getting some action.

Basically, True Blood is like two midgets beating the shit out of each other. It's ridiculous, disturbing, but kind of funny...and you just don't want to look away.