What Really Grinds My Gears

You know those days when you just want to fuck the world? I didn't mean that literally, creep. Today was one of those days. Here's a list of things I came across which helped me come to the conclusion that only stupid people are breeding.

1. People Who Merge In Traffic--Seriously asshole? Where do you think you're going? It's bumper to bumper traffic. Do you really think merging in front of me will help you get to your destination any further? As if merging in front of me would magically create a traffic-free pathway to get you to your destination? Just stay in your lane, dickwad. 
2. Education Connection Commercials--This bitch who looks like a crack whore comes out of nowhere singing about how I should go on this bullshit website to find a college. I sit there listening to this song (which will be stuck in my head the whole day) and keep thinking that this bitch should have took her own advice instead of following her dreams to become a famous actress. Then this girl, clearly high on heroine, starts yelling at me to make a phone call 'that will change my life'. I get all riled up and start to reach for the phone, then I realize 'I go to UCSB, what the hell am I doing?'
3. People Who Get Into The Express Grocery Line With 75 Items--Oh, I'm sorry? Are you blind? Could you not read the sign which clearly states 10 items or less? Oh you saw it and you're just an huge tool. MY BAD. Was your plastic bottle of Popov, bag of cat food, and the rest of your pathetic groceries too good for the regular line, asshole? I waited 20 minutes to buy orange juice because of you.
4. Adults Who Stampede To Get The Samples At Costco--Samples are the best thing about Costco, besides their berry smoothies. However, the adults who push me out of the way to get the last sample are huge douche bags. Seriously? You're going to spend 100s of dollars on food in just a few minutes, but your running for this cracker like you're a fucking homeless person. It's even worse when adults wait around for the samples to finish cooking. Are you that starving that you have to harass the poor sample lady for some mac and cheese that tastes like shit? 
5. Shitty Cars With Nice Rims--Who are you trying to fool? Your '81 Honda is a piece of shit. Just because you put in a killer sound system and spinning rims doesn't make it any better.  And of course it has a huge ass exhaust pipe so no one can miss your shit show driving past them. Seriously, bro. Get a job and save up for a car that wont make you look like a total prick.